hable ahora
by datawolf39
Summary: the title means 'speak now' according to google translate. doesn't allow a author to use the same title twice. if you know the song speak now that's the summary. if you don't it would be good to listen to it because it's a song fic.


**A/N Apparently I missed the memo that song lyrics are now longer allowed in fics and because of this i had to take out the song. I think it flowed better with it so i indicated in parenthesis the areas where the song was and which verse was where.**

I could, and have been described in a multitude of fashions. Most would say arrogant, intelligent, dangerous, disruptive, annoying and other words that are synonymous to at least one of the ones that have been previously listed. More recently I have had a companion that has graced me with the terms of idiot, always fondly said of course, brilliant, amazing and many such terms. But the terms that have been used most recently applied by most people would be either fraud or dead.

While most did think that I was dead there were two people that were aware of the fact that I was not. I'd like to think that another figured it out as well but since I have been fighting criminals in the shadows for the last three years I think that he might have given up on me.

The two people that I refer to are Molly, who help me to fake my death to begin with and my brother Mycroft who feeds me the intelligence that I need to chase after the criminals that I seek.

Sometimes he updates me as to the fate of the few that I have allowed myself to become close to. I live for those days though I do not let my brother know that. I have a feeling that he suspects but this is one matter where I can't help how I feel. These three long years have been hard and having to live in this manner causes me, much to my own chagrin, to be more introspective than I was before.

This in turn caused me to think of why I have let some people into my heart when I have rejected most others. Mrs. Hudson holds her place because she is an amazing woman and in ways I suppose I view her as a second mother. She is affectionate with me in a way that Mummy never was. Not to say that Mummy did not love me but the love that Mrs. Hudson has for me is just different than what Mummy gave me.

Lestrade was the second person. He is a good man and I often wondered how he had managed to avoid shooting me. Of course I had known that he had contemplated it more than a few times in our years of acquaintance but I knew that he would never act on it. He was a very interesting man and though I would never come out and say it I value him more highly than he is ever likely to know.

Last but in no way least was the enigma of a person that was John Watson. John came off as an extraordinarily ordinary man at the start. From his name, to his jumpers, to the bargain bin shoes that he wore he would seem to be the average man. But John was more than that and sometimes I am sure that I am the only one that notices it. He is fascinating to the point of distraction. He occupies more of my Palace than I am comfortable with even after I have not communicated with him during these years, and I love him.

It took all this time alone for me to realize this and I am ashamed that a brilliant mind like mine could not see it before now. But it's true and I can't help it. It makes me even more nervous than I have ever been to know that I am in love with John since I am soon to start my trek back to London. I fear that something will get in the way because my brother has been secretive so I know that something is not right I just wish he would tell me what.

_(this is where i had the first verse minus the chorus changing the song to suit male on male purposes)  
_

When I arrived in London, after dispatching the last of the web, I was driven to one of the buildings that Mycroft used as an office from time to time. It was then that he told me what he had kept from me. John was getting married in less than one day's time. As he had known this came as a shock. But at the same time I knew that it shouldn't because of course John would get married. He wouldn't wait forever and he would be even more in need of companionship since he had lost his best friend.

But the less rational part of my mind argued that he could have and should have waited for me to come back. Surely he must have had an inkling that all was not as it seemed. Furthermore John was the one that I loved and he should have seen the signs seeing as he was more experienced with the phenomenon than I was seeing as, until recently, I had called myself a high-functioning sociopath and had managed to live up to the title until he came along. Either way he should be with me because we were as two sides of a coin different but we had to be together to be whole. I knew this with certainty and I knew that John would realize it if I could just see him for a moment. At that moment I knew that for once in my life I would have to attend a wedding. I would have gone to hi before the wedding but I needed rest and I didn't think that waking John in the middle of the night was the way to win him away from the woman that was attempting to make him hers.

I got to the church just before most of the guest arrived and it was easy to slip in unnoticed after all I had nothing that truly identified me as Sherlock Holmes. My hair was strait and ginger I had on a nice outfit that didn't scream wealth and I had glasses on. I saw a few people that I knew and a lot that I easily observed were friends with John. Clustered together not far away were some people dressed so brightly on primary colors, as though doused with a liquefied box of children's crayons. It truly surprised me that no one had gone blind yet.

But I quickly shoved that aside and ventured further into the church. In one room over to the left the bride-to-be was finishing up getting dressed. One of the bridesmaids nearly dropped something and -Mary- for that was the name that I heard the woman apologize with started to bite her head off.

Perhaps it was nerves on her part but for me it cemented the fact that she wasn't right for my John. Even if I didn't want him as I did I would still be in his life and if such a small thing upset her what would she do when John ran off to solve a murder with me.

In the room across the hall I could hear John talking to someone. I knew his voice even after all this time.

"Are you sure about this mate?" I heard Lestrade ask.

"Of course I am," John replied in a tone that was unconvincing but Greg let it go.

I began to plan what I had to do as I walked further into the church looking for a place where I could conceal myself. I had all the proof that I needed that this was not what John really wanted. But I couldn't just go to him now I had to see if there was even the remotest chance that John was merely nervous. To do that I needed to see how he looked at Mary. As much as it would pain me to know that he was truly in love with her, if he was I couldn't just attack his happiness, I needed to know for certain. I loved him too much and had missed for far too long to ever risk him hating me.

_(second verse minus the chorus)  
_

I finally found a place on the inside of the curtains hidden from view from there I could view the alter as well as the pews where the people would sit. I was just in time to because people started to file in rapidly speaking with one another. For a moment I wondered if I should really be here but that was the advantage of being thought to be dead you couldn't get uninvited to events. Soon the music had started and John was standing at the alter in a standard tuxedo. It upset me. John was such a free spirit I had always believed that he would be married in a park in one of his fluffy jumpers. Now that image had changed and included myself in my long coat. I wondered if John had ever fantasized the same thing.

But that was neither here nor there at the moment because the bridal march was starting, oh how it sounded like a funeral dirge to my ears, and this would be my chance to observe if John really and truly loved this woman.

When John looked at her I looked at him and I saw it. All of the proof I had needed to verify it. John loved her but not enough, he was settling for the best he thought he could find. It made me sick to think that John, beautiful, amazing, wonderful, John was able to believe that all he deserved was a woman that was sure to cheat on him before the end of the honeymoon. He would be treated as nothing more than a trophy and that boiled my blood.

(_Part that starts with I hear... ending with all eyes on me.)_

It was time to make my move. I swallowed knowing that this was my only chance and although I had perfect confidence in my deductions I knew that John could still reject me. But I also knew that I would have no better opportunity to fight for him. I took a breath to steady myself, then stepped from my hiding place and in a clear and confident voice that surprised even me I objected to the union of the two of them.

(_Starting with 'horrified' ending before "you say...")_

"Sherlock," I heard John murmur and just like that, cliché though it was, everything else faded into the background.

"I really don't think this is the person for John. If just for the reason that he had no say in the location of the wedding. She doesn't really even know him at all. I would go into all the reasons that I know that but I think that it would be considered rude."

It seemed that nobody knew what to say and that was fine because John was walking toward me. Not believing the images that were being relayed to his brain. He was next to me now and a hand came up and slayed itself out on my chest. His eyes were huge as he came in to contact with fabric covered flesh and the rapidly thumping heart that I was sure could be heard all around the church.

"Sherlock?" he questioned incredulously.

It's me. I'm here," I said knowing that he was going through the senses. He was sure that not all of them could malfunction at the same time.

"You were dead." he whispered his voice cracking at the end and I could tell that sobs were held back by mere willpower at this point.

"I had to be. It was the only way to keep the people that I care about safe." I said to him.

John's eyes widened as he realized what that meant and for a moment he seemed to stop breathing.

I took John's hand, the one that was still spread on across my heart and entwined his fingers with my own. They fit perfectly together.

"Why?" John asked.

There were so many questions there. Why had I taken so long? Why interrupt his wedding? Why couldn't I have told him? I wanted to say that I loved him. I had to do it in order to protect him. I had no choice for the alternative was even worse. I wanted to say these things but I couldn't so instead I said, "You know my methods. What do you observe?"

John smiled at my words. Later I would realize that that sentence is what finally convinced him that I wasn't a hallucination. I could see his studying me his eyes raking over me with a practiced eye. I wondered what he was seeing.

"You've lost weight." he said disapprovingly. His hand pulled at mine and he saw the roughness of it that had accumulated from years and various weapons. "You haven't been idle these three years." He looked at my face and then he saw the evidence of the most important thing that I could not say. My heart beat began to race wildly again this was the moment. Either a rejection or acceptance.

_(rest of the song)  
_

He smiled and his features took up such an adoring look that it was impossible not to see what his answer was. I really wanted him to say it though.

"Thanks for coming for me love." John whispered. "Sorry everyone," John said as he turned from me. He gripped my hand harder though. "My soulmate has come to take me home. Ready?" He asked me with a glance toward the door.

I smiled. "Let's go."

More than half the church applauded us on the way out.


End file.
